GETTING READY FOR COLLEGE

DEALING WITH DISAPPOINTMENT

By Sally Springer

While many students find themselves excited by the task of choosing a college once their acceptances are in, others find themselves disappointed. Students who are admitted only to one or two colleges they never really liked, but denied or put on a waiting list by those they really wanted to attend, may not be excited by any of the choices. It isn’t fun to be told “no” by a school you are really enthusiastic about, and when several such colleges say “no,” it is even harder.

Understanding how uncertain the outcome can be at highly selective colleges can make it easier to accept each outcome gracefully, whether it is an acceptance or a denial.

The best approach to dealing with disappointment is to avoid the problem in the first place. The key is to distribute your college applications among three categories based on the likelihood of admission, making sure that all of the colleges on your list are ones where you could actually see yourself attending happily. You want to be sure that you have at least one or two choices in the “good bet” category. A “good bet” college is one where, given your record, you are almost certain to be admitted. The next category, which we call “possible” colleges, involves chances that can range from “pretty likely” to “fifty-fifty” to “not too likely.” The final category, “long-shot” colleges, includes those where the college’s acceptance rate in conjunction with your own record makes admission unlikely, but not impossible.

Developing a college list can be an enjoyable process for you and your family. We encourage you to begin with a careful self-assessment using a questionnaire, like the one we include in our book, Admission Matters, to identify college characteristics that are important to you. Then use the results of the questionnaire to develop a list of good fit colleges, narrowing the list as you learn more about the schools themselves and their degree of selectivity in relation to your own record. Students often spend most of their time selecting “long shot” and “possible” colleges, with “good bet” colleges an afterthought. This is a mistake. A good college list is the result of a lot of thoughtful introspection, as well as thorough research about colleges. With over 2,000 four-year colleges in the United States, there are many that will be a good fit for you. Joyce Mitchell, a wise high school counselor, advises students to select colleges in such a way that each is a “first” choice. This is excellent advice.

Can I appeal my denial?
“OK,” you say, “I understand all of this. But is there anything I can do to turn a denial at my dream college into an acceptance?” Students often ask if they can appeal a denial. The reality is that selective colleges only rarely admit students following an appeal. Although some colleges may invite appeals based on new information, most consider their decisions final, except in the case where a serious error has been made. Every now and then, transcripts get switched, for example, or tests are mis-scored. The recent mis-scoring of several thousand SATs from the October 2005 test administration resulted in colleges reviewing admission decisions for many applicants. But these situations are rare. If you are thinking about an appeal, contact the admissions office first and ask about their appeal process. Then decide if it is worth your time and energy to proceed, knowing that a positive outcome may be unlikely.

What about a “gap” year?
Students who are denied by their dream college sometimes ask if they should defer going to college for a year and then reapply. Should you? Sometimes a student can strengthen his or her case for admission by using a gap year to make their background more distinctive through special study programs, travel, internships, etc. If test scores were a concern, a gap year can provide an opportunity for retesting. But often there is no particular problem that can be remedied by a gap year – the student may have been well-qualified for admission to his or her top choice, but there were simply too many applicants for the number of spaces available. And given that this is most often the case, there are no guarantees about admission the following year either.

Can I transfer after a year?
Given the uncertainties associated with a gap year, it may be wiser to attend one of the schools that has accepted you, with an eye toward trying to transfer the following year. Although the most selective schools can be as difficult for transfers as freshman admits, the transfer route remains a viable option to consider, especially if you do exceptionally well during your freshman year. College Web sites include information about their transfer application process and deadlines. But you may find, as many students do, that thoughts about transferring fade once you start to feel at home in your new school.

Waiting list limbo
A waiting list consists of applicants who are not admitted or denied outright but who are notified that they will be considered for admission if space becomes available later in the spring. What should you make of a letter that essentially puts you in limbo at your dream school? Usually there is little movement from a waiting list until colleges have a clear indication of how many admitted students will actually accept the offer of admission, and that generally doesn’t happen until after the May 1 reply deadline.

Mid-May through June are the busiest times for waiting list notifications. If you decide to remain on a waiting list, you will need to return the card that comes with your notification letter. It is also wise to discuss your interest in the college with your high school counselor. Your counselor can help your cause by contacting the college and conveying support for you, as well as your enthusiasm for the college. A letter from you expressing interest, as well as any new accomplishments, is also important.

Remember, the movement from the waiting list at a selective college is a “long shot” at best – many more students are placed on the waiting list than will be admitted. You will need to submit a deposit by May 1 to one of the colleges that accepted you. If you are admitted off the waiting list at a college you’d prefer to attend, you’ll need to submit a deposit to the preferred college. You'll have to let the first college know you won't be attending after all, and you'll end up forfeiting the first deposit. The risk associated with remaining on a waiting list is that it will spoil your excitement about getting ready for college since you are still hoping to be admitted somewhere else. Sometimes the need for closure is far better than the emotional limbo that staying on a waiting list can create.

Putting things in perspective
Dwelling on the negative, as well as the “what ifs,” does little to move you forward if you find yourself initially disappointed with the outcome of the admissions process. All colleges, no matter how highly rated or well-regarded, have faults. And all colleges, even the most humble, have good points. We can’t emphasize enough that if you have done your research carefully at the outset, you can be confident that your choice will be a good one, no matter what form it finally takes. One young woman was denied by all colleges except her one good bet. Disappointed, she decided to approach things as positively as she could. Ten weeks into her freshman year, she enthusiastically reported that she was very happy with her choice. She loved her classes, her new friends and the college itself. Each year, thousands and thousands of students have similarly happy endings after things didn’t work out according to their original plan.

Sally P. Springer, Ph.D. is associate chancellor at UC Davis and the co-author, with Marion Franck, of Admission Matters: What Students and Parents Need to Know About Getting Into College, Jossey Bass, 2005. A sample chapter can be found at www.admissionmatters.com.