GETTING READY FOR COLLEGE

17 THINGS I WISH I KNEW...

By Harlan Cohen - www.TheNakedRoommate.com

Until you attend college, it’s impossible to know what college is going to be like, feel like and smell like (yes, it can have a smell). The college Web sites and brochures are helpful, but they only tell part of the story. The rest of it can be revealed by living it. Since your story is yet to be written, the next best thing is hearing from people who are living and breathing it. The following 17 tips are based on the experiences of current and recent college students breathing and living it.

EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED

What you think it will be might not be how it is. In case it isn’t (it rarely is), prepare to expect the unexpected. If you’re not prepared to expect the unexpected, when the unexpected arrives, it can throw you (think of a car on a twisty road with a locked steering wheel). You need to be able to handle the twists and turns in the road ahead.

BE PATIENT, BE PATIENT AND, YEAH, BE PATIENT

Finding friends, finding great roommates, finding the perfect major, finding professors you love and finding your place take time. It’s not like high school where most of the freshmen already know each other from junior high. It can take a few years to find your place. In case I forgot to mention it – be patient.

FIND YOUR PLACE — IT WON’T FIND YOU

Up to now, your entire life just kind of happened. Parents arranged play dates, schools had dances, extracurricular activities fell into your lap – life just happened. Once in college, you have to be the one to make it happen. If you don’t make it happen, and no one else makes it happen, it won’t happen.

WEAR FLIP FLOPS (SHOWER SANDALS)

Close your eyes (wait, close them after reading the next few sentences). Imagine what could happen in a shower with dozens of people showering together (not at once, you hope). Imagine the floor. Now imagine stepping onto that floor, barefoot. That’s why you need shower sandals.

EMBRACE THE UNIVERSAL REJECTION TRUTH OF FRESHMAN YEAR

The URT of freshman year says not everyone you want to like you will always like you – not roommates, not people in class, not friends, not everyone. Many will, but never all. Instead of focusing on being liked, focus on whether you like the people you meet. This is especially important if rushing a fraternity or sorority.

GET HELP BEFORE YOU NEED IT

Failing is a process. It starts with one bad grade, then another and another. When you get the first bad grade, get help. Professors, counselors, residence life staff, peer mentors, first-year experience staff and free tutors are all people to turn to for help.

HOMESICKNESS IS MORE COMMON THAN HERPES

Statistics show about 1 in 4 students will get the genital herpes virus, but 1 in 2 will get homesick. The cure for homesickness is to acknowledge that it’s normal, make a short visit home and work to make your new place a home. As for herpes, there isn’t a cure, but it can be managed with prescription medication.

THE BROCHURES DON’T SHOW STUDENTS CRYING, BREAKING UP OR FAILING EXAMS...

College is 90 percent amazing and 10 percent difficult. People cry, get upset and feel lonely. It’s not advertised, but it’s normal. Appreciating that 10 percent can be rough, and facing it when it approaches (instead of running) will keep that 10 percent from taking up 100 percent of your time.

APPROACH YOUR NAKED ROOMMATE SOONER RATHER THAN LATER

Discuss problems when they become a problem (if someone’s drunk or engaged in heavy breathing, wait until morning). Set a precedent early: “If I do something that makes you uncomfortable, let me know. If you do something that makes me uncomfortable, I hope I can let you know.” This is how possible confrontations become normal conversations.

DON’T GET STUCK BEHIND THE FIFTH WALL OF TECHNOLOGY

Cells phones, the Internet, instant messaging, FaceBook (be my friend), MySpace (be my friend) and technology can make it easy to be in one place physically and another place emotionally. Don’t get stuck behind THE FIFTH WALL.

LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS CAN WORK (BUT MOST DON’T)

If it’s love worth keeping, hold on to it until you feel like you need space. Do NOT lie, do NOT cheat, do NOT play games. Better to be single than lie, cheat and play games only to ruin something that could be continued...

CAREFUL, SEXUAL SOUVENIRS ARE EVERYWHERE

If you can’t talk about HPV, Chlamydia, HIV, syphilis, pubic lice, gonorrhea and hepatitis with someone you’re sleeping with, you shouldn’t be sleeping with that person. While herpes, HPV and HIV can’t be cured, other sexually transmitted infections, or STI’s, can be cured with prescription drugs. (ALERT: Chlamydia often has NO symptoms and can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease, which can lead to sterility if untreated.)

YOUR BODY, YOUR CHOICE

Not all students have sex. And if you don’t want to do it, don’t. If someone pressures you, encourage that person to have sex alone and leave you alone.

MOST STUDENTS DON’T BINGE DRINK

Most students don’t binge drink. A lot don’t drink at all. Most students who do drink won’t pressure you to drink. If they do, you can say no, get new friends or hold a drink without drinking.

GET TO CLASS

It takes a tremendous amount of effort to fail out of college. If you really want to fail then DO NOT go to class.

BE SMART ABOUT BEING STUPID

Try your best not to be so dumb that you accidentally hurt yourself. If you accidentally do, you may not graduate. If you see someone and think that person might be in trouble, call for help or tell someone who can get help.

BE YOURSELF (NOT ME, HIM OR HER)

Pretending to be someone else is exhausting. If you don’t like who you are, slowly change by doing the things that will help you become who you want to be, and eventually, you will become that person.

Harlan Cohen is bestselling author of The Naked Roommate: And 107 Other Issues You Might Run Into in College, a syndicated advice columnist, speaker and musician. Visit Harlan at www.TheNakedRoommate.com or www.HelpMeHarlan.com to sign up for his Naked Roommate free eNewsletter and find links to Harlan’s Facebook profile, Facebook Group (The Naked Roommate) and MySpace music page.