Getting Ready for College

FINDING YOUR NICHE ON A COLLEGE CAMPUS

By Mary Sallee

YIKES!  Is it already time to start thinking of your next life – that is, the one you are going to experience on a college campus? Are you worried about whether or not you can meet the challenges? Do you think about how you can get involved in campus activities or what your college friends will be like? Here are some tips for making the transition easier so you can find your own niche on your college campus.

STAY PUT.  If you are moving to a campus close to your home, pretend home is 500 miles away, and stay on campus for the first six weeks – particularly, the weekends. New friendships are often initiated over the kind of serendipitous encounters that are successful only when a person is relaxed.

STUDY THE COLLEGE CALENDAR.  Find out what is going on and go, even if you think “no one” else is. You can slip out if you decide the program is not meaningful to you, but it is more likely you will have a new encounter. Friendships grow out of shared experience, so find ways to share moments with your peers. Social encounters are another facet of intellectual pursuits.

CREATE YOUR OWN CALENDAR OF EXPERIENCES. The plans don’t have to be elaborate, but they may mark those moments of college life that are lasting memories. As I was preparing to go to bed one Saturday night, I heard a lot of squealing outside and peeked through the blinds to see a large group of students running around the campus. At first I was a little concerned, but my husband remembered that students had put up signs in the College Union announcing a “Capture The Flag” event on a Saturday night. They were having a great time!

One of my husband’s favorite experiences and mine was the night a delightful group of first-year women invited us to meet them in the cafeteria for supper. We had a memorable evening as the group of new friends described the things they were doing together. They had planned their “Days of December” events, where each day a member of the group planned something they would do together. One day it was as simple as all the women in the group wearing red and green; another day they went to a local business and painted personalized pottery. Those friends graduated from William Jewell College, Liberty, Mo., this past spring, and we continue to enjoy a friendship with them, even being invited to weddings last summer. While very different in personal interests, pursuing varied majors, campus leadership positions and sororities, they all remained true to that friendship borne out of simple plans hatched in a first-year residence hall.

DON’T LET YOUR CELL PHONE BE YOUR BEST FRIEND. Be thoughtful about when and where you talk on your cell phone. If you are eager to interrupt a delightful conversation or lively activity to talk to a “back home” friend, it will be harder to grow new friendships.

BE SILLY.  One of the science students on our campus has a new science joke each time I see her:  Ex:  Q:  What is barium?  A:  What you do when CPR fails. Carina and her fellow scientists are beloved leaders and respected scholars on our campus, but they find a silly way to connect and enjoy each other, even in the midst of heavy research responsibilities.

BE AN ENCOURAGER. Everyone lives life with insecurities, but the more you look outward, finding ways to encourage others, the less you will think of yourself. Study the student newspaper or residence hall newsletter to learn of awards peers have earned, the play they will be in, the solo they got or the project they are promoting. Even if your praise or congratulations is offered to others anonymously, your own sense of worth will grow in the act of encouraging or praising others.

VOLUNTEER. Find a way to serve and you will not only find a niche, you will probably find that many more doors open for you. You might be amazed, for instance, at how many people you might meet by simply helping staff an organization’s table for ticket sales in the College Union. William Jewell College plans a “Serve and Celebrate” Saturday early in the semester, where students, faculty and staff work on projects that meet needs in the area. Side-by-side projects are a much better way to get acquainted than are the where-are-you-from-and-what’s-your-major stilted conversations.

Enjoy your next adventure. Finding your niche in a new setting may sound like a lot of work, but all thoughtful efforts will pay off in personal and meaningful ways – sometimes when you least expect it.

Mary M. Sallee, presidential spouse at William Jewell College in Liberty, Mo., lives in a home that sits in the heart of the college campus. She is an advisor for student organizations, attends student performances and athletic events and regularly welcomes college students into the presidential home. She considers it personally rewarding to observe the many ways students find their own niche on a college campus.